I'm Just Spinny Today

I haven't posted in sometime, even though so much has happened and each time I've mentally said "oh I have to do a post".  Nope.  Never got around to it.

What was with the avoidance?  I don't know.  I had the desire, just not the direction maybe.  Whatever, I'm here now.

This post has a lot to say about absolutely nothing.  I'm about to start rambling.

I had one of those dreams last night, well this morning really.  The ones that wakes you up and leaves you slightly disoriented.  Geez.  I have really vivid dreams.  I "heard" burglars breaking into the laundry room in my building.  Ya, okay Captain Crazy Pants.  

I woke up, my energy was all wonky and kinda heavy.  Now its just spinny and I feel like I'm sparking out all over the place.  No containment and running at a million miles an hour in every direction.  Granted, some of that may be the excessive coffee I drank this morning because I was so groggy and gray.  By coffee I mean espresso.  North American style coffee tastes too watery to me, so in any post assume "coffee" is espresso.

I had a bunch of things I wanted to accomplish today.  I wanted to make Offering Stones and Simple Cinnamon Incense I saw on the Witchcraftin channel on YouTube but my energy isn't right for doing such.  I wanted to go to the park and sit a bit, go see if the party store carries boxes of birthday candles in individual colours, so much more.

Now I've just learned somebody is coming over.  I've got to ground, center and shield.  

Captain Crazy Pants .... over and out.

A Lesson Learned

So much has happened since my last post.  

The first is that I learned an important lesson about listening to my higher self, my inner voice, the universe, whatever you call prefer to call it.

For literally days before the "incident" (insert sinister mysterious music here), I had a very strong feeling of my power, my energies swirling around me and knowing I should be doing the protection magic I "knew" I needed to do.  Every day I heard it, felt it and  ignored it, tomorrow is another day.

Friday rolls around and now we have guests.  Voice is screaming at me now and what can I do about it but look at the chair where I usually practice and think 'tomorrow' again.

That night I go to bed and have dark, vivid dreams of death and darkness.  Not a dream of death like a transition, it was a scary darkness.  I was feeling so unsettled and uncomfortable when I got up in the morning.  Before I did anything else, I lit a charcoal disk and put some Three Kings on to smoulder, to put some happy back in the air.  

Ya, no.  I sat in the corner of the couch where one of my guests had been sitting the previous evening as the smoke moved about the apt.  Now I'm starting to feel nauseous.  It got stronger the more I smouldered the incense.  At its height, I was almost gagging I was so sick.  Just plain badness.

I didn't have time for a full smoke smudge, so I did a spray smudge.  Making sure I hit every area and saying my words.  Filled the apt with as much light as I could muster.  Reinforced our shields and filled them with light and then went out. 

When I got home, did the full sage smudge with my words.  While smudging the area where I had felt so sick earlier in the day, I had a memory of the last time this same guest was here.  

After this person left on that previous occasion, one of my worst fears came to be.  I saw something move from the corner of my eye.  Glanced up and saw a wave of baby spiders crawling along the ceiling and down the wall.  It was like horror movie special effects.  They were moving together along the ceiling and down the wall in a tight "V" formation. In all the places I've lived, in all of my life that has never happened.  Spiders.  It was really weird.  I also cried myself to sleep that night.  I have a paralyzing fear of spiders.

So as I said, that came into my memory when I was smudging the crap out of that one area where this person had been sitting and where I felt so sick that morning.  Yes, one could call "coincidence".  No, this was different.  The two things felt more connected than just the timing of the visits.

Blasted the apt with light again after the smudging and spent the afternoon making protective sachets to hang above doors and a small dish for in front of the windows.

Thanks be it worked and lesson learned. That voice inside absolutely must be listened to.  Its smarter than I think I am.

Full Moon Releasing

I think the full moon is a great time for release.  Just getting rid of stuff that no longer really serves you.  Drop some of your baggage, disconnect those ties to things long gone that still drain your energy.  

Doing a Full Moon Release or a quiet meditation asking Archangel Michael to cut those ethereal ties (or both) are excellent ways to move forward a little lighter.

Full Moon Release

1. Depending on your practice, prepare how you normally would.  For me, I will light a candle and some incense.
2. On a piece (or pieces) of paper, write down all the things you want to release from your life.  It can be emotions, thoughts, attitudes, behaviours...anything that doesn't serve your best interest anymore.  Be serious about this.  Put your intention to release that item into each word.  You can write them all on one piece of paper or put each item on its own slip of paper.
3. Take them outside and read them aloud.
4. When you're done, burn them (be mindful of fire safety).
5. Give thanks.

Cutting Ethereal Ties

I believe just about every interaction you have creates a tie to another person.  The interactions could be in person, by prayer or thought.  If you think about the number of people you interact with, that's a lot of ties connecting to you, your energy.  They may or may not be binding you to thought patterns, behavioural patterns etc.  So you are literally cutting the ties that bind.  I think now, the full moon, is the time to cut them.  This goes well with the releasing spell.  Don't worry about losing ties to those you love and who are good for you.  Your ties are rebuilt and reattached when you interact again.

You can state it as you would any other spell, working or prayer.  

Cut the energy cords connecting you to others and others to you.  Visualize it.  Feel it happening.  Use scissors, sword, lawnmower - whatever works for you.  Surround yourself in true white light.

You can meditate and ask for the Archangel Michael to use his sword to cut any and all ethereal ties.

You will find the way that works for best you.  Trust yourself to choose.

Blessings 

Thunder Moon 2014

I like the Thunder moon name for July.  That name appeals to me. I don't know what it is about this full moon though.  There are those that say the moon's waxing and waning doesn't affect us.  I totally believe differently.  Now, maybe its the connection I feel personally that "creates" this energy.  Maybe its my belief in the powers all around us that makes me more sensitive to the moon's dance across our skies.  

I couldn't keep my mind on anything I was doing or had to do yesterday.  It literally took me hours to read 30-40 pages.  I kept getting distracted by the energy I was feeling and before I'd realize, I was climbing aboard another thought train...Toot! Toot! Swirling, crazy, joyful energy surrounded me all day.

Last night as the sun set and I began to see the moon in the sky, I set some water out to charge and put the crystals on the window sill.  I went outside to sit quietly in the moonlight.  The only thing that could have made that better would have been if I could have had a fire going.  There was a bit of a chill in the air.

This morning as I type this, I'm sitting outside having
a cuppa and watching the squirrels race through the trees, chasing each other back and forth in what seems like a never ending game of tag.  The birds are singing loudly.  Its beautiful, but I need my slippers and a sweater - its still chilly.  Unfortunately the sounds of the city waking are starting to encroach.

Not So Traditional Tools

I was doing a working today and afterwards started thinking about my tools.

My practice is my own. Traditional I guess you would say.  Solitary.  The tools I use are minimal really.  They are simple reflections of my life.  Like the wooden spoons I use to cook our meals.

Wooden Cooking Utensils

I did look at buying an incense burner, cauldron etc when I first started consciously practising, but it didn't feel right for me. I went home not quite empty handed that day - I had a bag of herbal goodies and candles.  Tools though?  Not so much. 

My things weren't made specifically for what I use them for now, but they fit the bill.  And I'm deeply connected to them.

Each was given to me as a gift from my daughter, at different stages in her life.  Items I have kept and cherished.  They are handmade or made from natural material which adds again to the connection I have with them.  They have life.

The holder I use for burning charcoal discs was made for me with her two tiny hands in grade school.  Its a clay garlic keeper she tried to make look like a bulb of garlic.  Its never been good at keeping garlic fresh.  In fact, it had the opposite effect.  I probably love it more for that reason - Moms are like that.  It has always had a place of pride in my kitchen though, these many years.

Garlic Keeper with rock salt for charcoal disc

A few years later, my daughter saved her money and bought me a wooden mortar and pestle.  We never had much money and it was a big deal that she saved what she had to buy me something.  I cried.  Again, Moms are like that.  Now I use it to mix herbs and grind resins.

Wooden Mortar & Pestle

As a grown woman, she bought me a hand made Circle of Elephants.  Its like a Circle of Friends that were popular a few years back, only with elephants.  I love elephants.  Its perfect for my needs.  The small dish in the centre is exactly the right size and shape for any burning I need to do.

Circle of Elephants

Even the paper I use to write workings on was a gift from my precious daughter.  Handmade paper, made from - wait for it - elephant poo.  Yep.  Genuine elephant doody.  What a brilliant idea!  You can find out more about eco friendly PooPooPaper here.

Inside cover of my PooPoo Paper scratch pad

The love and memories that came with these gifts resides in my heart.  I believe it adds to and is part of the magic I create.

Its Canada Day

Its Canada Day here.  This great nation is 147 years old.

Celebrations all across the country.  The biggest is in our nation's capital, Ottawa.  I've never been, though I thought I might like to one day.  I'm not one for the gigantic crowd celebrations, so that kind of decides that.  I find crowds like that have too much energy floating about and it fiddles with my head.  I do like a good parade though.

We had plans to go one of our favourite parks for coffee and sit on the shore of Grenadier Pond for our celebration. Quiet coffee with the critters.  I say "had" because right now its raining sideways outside my living room window.  Sideways.  Ya, not really doing that now.  As I type this we have a thunder storm warning, it already feels like 35°C with humidity of 79%.  Its 10:00am.

Grenadier Pond

I think we will make it a stay at home Canada Day.  If its this muggy at 10:00am, its going to feel like walking out into a wet wool sweater later..ugh.

In the light of celebrating things Canadian from the comfort of my air conditioned living room, I give you a very short list of some of the wonders of invention we have brought the world:

• Insulin, Treatment for Diabetes [1921, Frederick Banting, Charles Best]
• Telephone [1876, Alexander Graham Bell]
• Light Bulb [1874, Henry Woodward, Mathew Evans]
• Pacemaker [1950, John Hopps, Wilfred Bigelow, John Callaghan]
• Standard time [1878, Sir Sandford Fleming]
• Cobalt-60 "Bomb" Cancer Treatment [1951, Harold Johns]
• Electron Microscope [1939, James Hillier, Albert Prebus]
• Instant Replay [1955, CBC's Hockey Night in Canada]
• Basketball [1892, James Naismith]
• Goalie Mask [1959, Jacques Plante]
• Lacrosse [First Peoples]

The lists on the web are enlightening and entertaining on this ridiculously hot day.  Frankly I didn't know the Wonderbra, peanut butter, egg cartons, green garbage bags, fog horns, electric wheelchairs, and walkie talkies were among these inventions.  Did you know the ink that makes US currency green is on the list too? Me neither.  Thank you interweb for my Canada Day lessons.

Happy Canada Day!  I'm going to get myself some peanut butter :)

Five Times A Day

My positive change at the new moon was to change my eating habits.  I have a love/hate relationship with food.  I've had an eating disorder almost my entire life.

I'm doing well so far, but the thing I'm finding really hard is how often I have to eat. Eating 3 meals and 2 snacks is what I'm finding the most difficult.

This is going to be my mountain.  I'm strong enough to climb it, sure.  I know that its easy to slip too though and before you know it oops, missed that snack.  Then lickety split back to eating when I remember or when my husband asks "you eat today?"  Ya, I'm one of those.  I forget to eat.

I'm not stick thin, so get that picture out of your head.  Nope, I'm a good 100 pounds overweight now.  A lifetime of not eating, then eating, then dieting, side effects of medications and those birthdays that keep coming have me where I am today...Avoiding mirrors, buying clothes or having my picture taken. 

I've tried before many times, slipped and not bothered to get back up.  Its easy to put on those old habits.  They are familiar and somewhat comfortable in their own way.

Not this time.  Now I have the tools I need.  I have support in my husband who will give me his hand if I slip, Bless him.  I have the power of the universe to call upon when I feel weak.  Sister Moon empowers me and reminds me I am indeed strong enough to change.

After all, she does it every day.